Celebrity Gossip

Ahhhh, celebrity gossip. I have a love hate relationship with celebrity gossip. I like to read some of the blogs and magazines because they are off the chart ridiculous at times, good for a laugh. On the flip side, it's so stupid, I often wonder why I waste my time. Gives you something to talk about at parties and get-togethers, I suppose.

I DO NOT CARE ABOUT LIST

Lindsay Lohan going to jail. Well, Lindsay Lohan doing and/or going anywhere really. She's in the news more for her drug and alcohol issues than she was for being famous. I have yet to figure out what she actually did to get famous. Her parents are a-class fame whores though. It's no wonder why she has problems.

Elin Woods getting some ridiculous sum of money in her divorce settlement from Tiger Woods. Props to her for making out like a bandit. He can cheat on me for 10000000 bazillion dollars though - saves me from having to sleep with his ugly ass.

Gosselin anything. I do not care about Kate dancing with anyone or having a dating reality show. I do not care about Jon's latest tattoo or girlfriend or the self-help book he is writing about marriage and parenting (really?) I feel sorry for their kids but hey, they are gonna have more money than I will ever have - as long as their douchey parents don't blow it all before they are able to get their hands on it.

Playboy chick Kendra's sex tape and past as a hooker. This should be of no surprise to anyone. Not even Hugh Heffner. How this is a big, newsworthy story, I am not sure.

Miley Cyrus 'growing up'. This includes wearing skimpy clothes, shopping at Walmart and dancing provocatively on a pole. It's even better when people get upset when people make not-so-flattering comments about her because of her antics, all of a sudden she's just a child. Funny, I don't recall a childhood where my parents let me where next to nothing and dance on a pole. I don't see that in my daughter's future either...

Whatever Michael Jackson's family is doing. I loved Michael's music but I'm really over his family. Let him rest in peace already. (Joe and Jermaine, that was for you really.)

The new American Idol Judge. It doesn't matter, the show is basically over without Simon Cowell. It has been slow going even with him the last few seasons.

Twilight anything. Vampires are not my thing. Let alone the people who play the vampires and what they do in their real lives.

Justin Bieber. .

Puff Daddy. Didddy. Sean Combs. Sean John. Whatever the hell his name is.

I CARE ABOUT LIST

The Guidos coming to Miami. Yes, I realize that Jersey Shore is probably the lowest point in television history but OMG, it's the best worst television ever. I would be totally lying if I said I did not care about the second season premiering at the end of the month. Lying like a two-bit whore selling a ketchup popsicle to a man in a white shirt. So awful.

Oh Cristiano, say it ain't so. Two reasons why I would ever watch soccer: David Beckham and Cristiano Ronaldo. Out of nowhere, Cristiano has had a baby with an unnamed surrogate, a la Ricky Martin. We all know that shortly after getting his babies, Ricky walked right out of that open closet door. (You know, the one we were all holding open for him since he was in Menudo?) Please do not kill the honest to goodness fantasies of women everywhere, Cristiano.

Kardashian dramz. While I can't say I wholeheartedly CARE about these fools and their individual dramas, they entertain the hell outa me. I think it is because they are so freakin' dysfunctional, it makes me feel as though I grew up with the Waltons.

You can obviously see which list is longer. Do you keep up with your celebrity gossip? Hopefully, it's not just ME.