Bowing Down

I am bowing down to Kristie Moore. The Olympian. The pregnant Olympian. Forget that nobody outside of Holland cares about the sport of curling, this woman is five and half months pregnant! Totally showing too. Granted, she is an alternate and probably not going to compete unless someone sprains a pinky finger while brushing or whatever it is they do in curling but still. What would that be like, "Hey Baby, when you were a mere alien in my belly, I totally won a gold medal at the Olympics." Awesome, that's what THAT would be like. As of right now, I get to tell my son, "Hey, when you were a mere alien in my belly, I won 70 extra pounds from the sitting-on-the-couch Olympics." Not that there's need to tell him, I could just show him, but I digress.

Naturally, this gets me thinking back to when I was five and half months pregnant with my son. Not only did I NOT want to be in Canada, I sure as heck was not working out to compete in the Olympics. I was like 500 pounds and the size of a house. Maybe a small condo at that point, but house was definitely right around the corner. As was evident by the bold (BOLD, not old) ass woman in Nordstrom who yelled from across the store, "Damn, girl, you look like you're about to give birth to those twins tomorrow." Please note: I did not know this woman. Also note: I was 5 months pregnant with ONE CHILD. So of course, I had to respond with my ever-so-trusty, "Oh, I'm not pregnant, just fat." I always love the look on people's faces when I pull that one out. (Take away lesson: unless a woman specifically tells you she is pregnant, don't assume it.)

I watched some curling last night and I think I'm gonna start training now. I already sweep a couple times a week anyway. I figure if I start practicing now, by my second pregnancy, I too, will be a pregnant Olympian. I am totally drawing the line at the gawd-awful plaid pants they wear though. Totally not flattering on my pregnant thighs. I have standards.