I Finally Get to OPEN My Whore Mouth

Such a nice change from shutting it all the damn time. Aunt Becky over at Mommy Wants Vodka is doing some interview thingy and because I'm in the habit of entering all of her contests, well, you know. So, this one is for you, Aunt Becky. Thanks in advance 'cause I'm really supposed to be doing something else right now and this is allowing me to procrastinate even longer!

Is this thing on? Testing, testing 1, 2, 3, whore...

1. Do you like sprinkles on your ice cream? Nope. Sprinkles are for young children and I'm way beyond that, obviously. And since you didn't ask, I'm gonna tell you anyway: I like marshmallow topping on my ice cream. Well, on pretty much anything.

2. If you had to choose one word to banish from the English language, what would it be and why? Irregardless. I just hate when people use this. I cringe when I hear people say it.

3. If you were a flavor, what would it be? Honey. Obviously. Sweet as can be.

4. What's the most pointless, annoying chore you can think of that you do on a daily/weekly basis? Any kind of yard work cause shit just grows back and leaves fall off the trees every damn second. That's why I don't do it. I'm currently interviewing gardeners. Only young, hot, dark haired men with svelte physiques need apply.

5. Of all the nicknames I've ever had in my life, Aunt Becky is the most widely known and probably my favorite. What's your favorite nickname? (for yourself) I absolutely love it when you call me WHORE, makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Really brings the dirty girl out in me too. I'm pretty sure my Hubby wants to meet you and thank you in person.

6. You're on a desert island with the collective works of 5 (and only five) musical artists for the rest of your life. Who are they? Neil Diamond, Barry Manilow, Babs, Liberace and Michael Bolton. In that order too. With Celine Dion as a runner up. That was such a no-brainer, I thought you knew me better.

7. Everything is better with bacon. True or False? TRUE AS HELL. And not that Canadian shit either - that's just ham, let's be real. Fucking Canadians.

8. If I could go back in time and tell Young Aunt Becky one thing, it would be that out of chaos, order will emerge. Also: tutus go with everything. What would you tell young self? To drink just enough to still enjoy it instead of getting so shit-faced that you end up face down in the toilet puking up your last 10 meals. And that the scarf-n-barf method of dieting, totally bites you in the ass later.

This concludes my interview with Aunt Becky. Thank you, thankyouverymuch!